High-energy pool terrace with a 'Made in Chelsea' vibe
In sintesi: A glitzy, aging diva of a hotel that trades sleep quality for champagne sales and selfie backdrops.
Recensito da @KateSamuilova9247250: I spent my 35th birthday here and it was unforgettable. Watching the bath fill from the ceiling while surrounded by red velvet was the most indulgent experience of my life. It felt like a total fantasy world.
Cosa hanno detto gli ospiti che hanno soggiornato qui
The hype
Guests love the 'wow' factor of the design and the Thai food, but hate the noise and lack of maintenance.
Reality check
The 'Snug' rooms are claustrophobically small, and the 'Decadent' rooms often show signs of wear like peeling wallpaper and cracked mirrors.
You are an influencer or reality TV fan
You prioritize a party atmosphere over a quiet night's sleep
You want a bathtub that fills from the ceiling
Pulizia e manutenzione
5.5
Housekeeping: Inconsistent. Many reports of missed dust, especially on velvet surfaces and heavy drapes.
Bathroom hygiene: Frequent complaints about 'grubby' grout, hair left behind, and flooding wet rooms.
Maintenance: Aging poorly. Peeling wallpaper, cracked mirrors, and broken lights are common complaints.
Linens & towels: Generally decent, though some reports of stained pillows.
Odors & scents: Some rooms have a musty/damp smell, often masked by heavy cleaning products.
Sleepability™
4MODERATO
MODERATO
0-4RUMOROSO
4-7.5MODERATO
7.5-10SILENZIOSO
DJ/music from the bar until 1am
Loud guests in corridors
Pool terrace noise
Prima di prenotare
Buono a sapersi
Breakfast is NOT included and costs ~£14-25 per person
The hotel is cashless (card only)
Dinner reservations are essential for the Thai and English restaurants
Cosa portare
Earplugs (essential for sleep)
Swimwear (for the pool/terrace photo op)
Dressy outfits (the crowd dresses to impress)
Genio delle camere
Migliori scelte
Decadent Room (for the signature copper bath experience)
Boujee Room (slightly larger, velvet-heavy decor)
Camere da evitare
Snug Room (tiny, often described as a cupboard)
Room 13 (specific maintenance complaints cited in reviews)
Genio delle richieste camera – copia e incolla
“I am requesting a room on the top floor, as far away from the bar and pool terrace as possible, to minimize noise disturbance.”
FAQ e consigli nascosti
Tutto ciò che vuoi davvero sapere prima di prenotare.
Is the pool heated?
No, it is generally unheated and acts as a 'cold plunge' in winter, though it's a popular hangout spot for drinks.
Is breakfast included?
No, breakfast is a la carte and costs extra (approx. £14 for a main dish).
Can I bring my dog?
No, the hotel has a strict no-pets policy.
Is there parking?
Yes, free parking is available on-site, but it can fill up during events.
What is the crowd like?
Flashy, young-ish, and moneyed. Think reality TV stars and those who want to live like them.
Is it suitable for children?
No, the hotel is strictly 18+ adults only.
Suggerimenti degli Insider
✨
The 'Snug' rooms are often cheaper for a reason—they are incredibly small with barely room to walk around the bed.
✨
Visit the bar between 5pm-7pm for occasional happy hour deals (check current offers).
✨
The Thai restaurant is widely considered better than the English restaurant.
5 cose da sapere prima di partire
💡The 'wet room' bathrooms often flood the entire floor.
💡Lighting in the rooms is mood-dependent (very dark), making it hard to do makeup.
💡There is a £150 security deposit hold on your card upon arrival.
💡Some 'luxury' touches like the velvet walls are dust magnets and can trigger allergies.
💡The pool area is more for posing with cocktails than actual swimming.
Guida locale
Mappa
Scopri dove si trova Crazy Bear Beaconsfield e cosa c'è nelle vicinanze.