The hype
Staff are friendly and the gym is top-tier, but the housekeeping and room maintenance leave a lot to be desired.
The Essex Golf & Country Club Hotel
$95-185/ night
Book this if You're a golfer, a wedding guest, or a group of friends who prioritize a pool and a pint over white-glove service.
Why People Love It
- Solid leisure facilities including an indoor pool and well-equipped gym
- Golf course views from the terrace are genuinely lovely
- Lodge accommodations offer a private hot tub experience for groups
Quick Take: A functional country club that happens to have bedrooms attached—expect great fairways but tired hallways.
Reviewed by @Itsjsldn: I walked in skeptical about a £3.99 breakfast, but The Essex actually delivered. The beans were decent, and the vegan sausages were a total surprise hit. If you're in Colchester and want a massive feed for pocket change, this is the spot. Just heads up on the runny eggs!
Guest Who Stayed Here Said
Reality check
The 'spa hotel' label is doing heavy lifting; expect dust on the kettle, worn carpets, and a jacuzzi that's sometimes out of order or 'grubby'.
- You plan to spend 80% of your time on the golf course or in the pool
- You are attending a wedding on-site and just need a bed to crash in
- You are a group of friends booking a Lodge for a hot tub weekend
Cleanliness & Maintenance
6
- Housekeeping: Inconsistent. Daily service happens, but deep cleaning is missed. Expect dust on high surfaces and behind furniture.
- Bathroom hygiene: Functional but tired. Grout often shows age/discoloration, and limescale is common on taps.
- Maintenance: A weak point. Reports of peeling paint, broken jacuzzi jets, and worn carpets are frequent.
- Linens & towels: Standard commercial grade. Clean but not plush. Sometimes a bit scratchy.
- Odors & scents: Generally neutral, though some corridors have a lingering 'old carpet' or faint chlorine smell from the pool.
Sleepability™
5MODERATE
0-4LOUD
4-7.5MODERATE
7.5-10SILENT
- Wedding DJ bass traveling through floors
- Creaky floorboards from guests in rooms above
- Corridor noise due to heavy fire doors slamming
Before you book
Good to know
- Breakfast is often NOT included in the base rate; check your booking terms carefully.
- Swim times for children are restricted (usually morning and late afternoon), so check the schedule if bringing kids.
- The 'Pet Friendly' label applies ONLY to specific lodges, not the main hotel.
What to pack
- Earplugs (essential for weekends)
- A portable fan (rooms get stuffy in summer)
- Your own pool towel (hotel ones can be small and scratchy)
Room Genie
Best picks
- Deluxe Double with Golf Course View (worth the upgrade for the scenery)
- Lodge with Hot Tub (best for privacy and groups)
- Top-floor rooms to mitigate overhead footstep noise
Rooms to avoid
- Standard rooms near the function suite (wedding noise central)
- Ground floor rooms near the entrance (high foot traffic)
- Rooms facing the car park (zero view and headlights at night)
Room Request Genie – copy & paste
“I am a light sleeper and would appreciate a top-floor room as far away from the function suite/wedding venue as possible. A golf course view would be a bonus.”
FAQ & Hidden tips
Everything you actually want to know before you book.
Is the pool warm?
Generally yes, though the jacuzzi temperature is inconsistent—reviews range from 'amazing' to 'far too hot'.
Can I bring my dog?
ONLY if you book a designated 'Pet Lodge'. Dogs are strictly banned from standard hotel rooms.
Is there AC in the rooms?
No. Standard rooms rely on windows and provided fans, which struggle during heatwaves.
How far is it to Colchester?
It's about a 20-minute drive. A car is essential as taxis can be unreliable and expensive in this rural area.
Do I have to pay for the gym?
No, hotel guests get complimentary access to the gym and pool, which are the property's strongest assets.
Is the wifi good?
Surprisingly decent (rated 8.1/10), reliable enough for streaming or remote work.
Insider Tips
- ✨
The 'Pulse' bar food is decent but basic; for a proper meal, head into Earls Colne village.
- ✨
Don't assume you can play tennis just because you're a guest; courts are often member-locked. Ask reception immediately upon arrival.
- ✨
If you're in a Lodge, check the inventory immediately—missing cutlery and glasses are common complaints.
5 things to know before you go
💡The dust. It's often found on kettles, top shelves, and skirting boards.
💡The 'resort' feel is actually a local leisure centre that allows guests; members always seem to have priority.
💡The walk from some lodges to the main building is dark and unlit at night—bring a phone torch.
💡Room service is practically non-existent; don't expect a late-night club sandwich.
💡The shower pressure in standard rooms can be underwhelming.
Local Playbook
Map
See where The Essex Golf & Country Club Hotel is located and what's nearby.